Writing with Empathy
When you write with empathy, you're putting yourself in the place of the person you're communicating with. Empathy is the ability to ‘imagine’ what it would be like to experience what another person is experiencing. Empathic people are intuitive and often sense the unspoken needs, emotions, or tensions of people.
But what does this mean when writing a personal statement? If you can communicate your own feelings, ideas and beliefs with the focus on the reader, you will have an essay that not only defines who you are but will give the reader a chance to grow and develop with you. How does this happen? Storytelling. Concrete, engaging content that persuades the reader to continue reading. All good writing is persuasive.
How do you talk about yourself when you are aiming to engage a reader? I spoke at a school a few years ago with my arm in a cast. I briefly told them how it had happened, riding my bicycle to meet a teacher I would be subbing for while she was on maternity leave. My bag got stuck in the wheel and I took a header over the handlebars. I got back on the bike and rode another eight miles to the coffee shop, requested a bag of ice and was able to receive her class materials and insights until my arm had swollen so badly, she offered to drive me to the ER. I called my husband.
“This,” I said, “displays great persistence but it also shows a lack of common sense so it isn’t a good opening for your college essay. But now you now who I am.” Some kid from the back of the auditorium yelled, “You’re a beast!” and the ice was broken.
Use an example from your own life but yes, choose carefully. All humans have experienced moments (hours, days?) of conflict that reveals their imperfect humanity. This moment is a wonderful way to invoke empathy in your reader as you describe your hopes for the future, your reasons to be excited about attending college, and possibly, your belief system. The personal statement doesn’t need to describe achievements which are part of your application. If you are focusing on the reader, you will also reduce the number of pronouns: I, my, me, and find a way to be both inclusive and personal. Finally, answer the prompt!
—Molly Moynahan, author and writing coach