The Importance of Welcome
“Inclusivity means not just ‘we’re allowed to be there,’ but we are valued. I've always said: smart teams will do amazing things, but truly diverse teams will do impossible things.” —Claudia Brind-Woody
I have always given good parties. People stayed a long time, met new friends, and usually ate lots. But I don’t think it was ever the food or even the other guests. I think it is the fact that I made everyone feel welcome. If someone is brave enough to attend your party, I believe they deserve to be thanked, to be assured you are happy to see them, to be greeted at the door by you, and given a place to put their stuff if necessary. You should try and introduce that person to someone they might enjoy talking to. It’s a lot but this is how we remain connected to others and these are the responsibilities of being a host. This Christmas a neighbor told me at the door after I welcomed her that this was the first party she had attended since her husband died seven years before. “I am afraid to go out alone,” she said. I found her a happy group and she visibly relaxed.
This understanding was deepened when I attended a party where the host had supplied wonderful food, a number of games, a whole organized playlist, but when I arrived, I was left to find a place for my coat, the host being in deep conversation and I never found the sense of belonging that eases many social situations.
How does this translate to work? As a teacher I stood at the door and thanked my students for coming to class. This was especially significant during my first assignment in a large urban school in Chicago dominated by gangs. My first classroom out of graduate school had been warehoused and neglected when their teacher fell ill and was unable to manage the classroom. No one had created an atmosphere of learning or a community of trust. At first the students scoffed at me, ten members of the Latin Kings and two refugees from the Bosnian War plus a single Muslim girl who was engaged to be married to an elderly neighbor. As I continued to greet them individually and thank them for coming to school, this ritual helped make a major difference in the hours we spent together in the classroom. I also stood by the door as they left my classroom, thanking them, reminding them of homework assignments, sending them away into the world they occupied with a sense I knew and cared about them. The one day I was late to arrive I opened the door to a visible sigh of relief and the accusation that I was tired of them.
On an even larger scale, when we discuss inclusion, we need to also consider the difference between that concept and the concept of belonging. Diversity is not a passive thing. When you welcome someone, you give them the opportunity to feel they have a voice and a purpose. Being seen can appear a small thing but for women, minorities, the disabled and the elderly it can make the difference in how your person sees themselves in relation to the workplace and to the community.
—Molly Moynahan, author and writing coach